I am really excited about the series that our Church is doing. It is called 40 Days to a joy filled life. It is based on the Scripture in Philippians 4:8 that reads “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” The workbook is written by Tommy Newberry who is an author and a Life Coach. I’ve also been listening to his audio book called The 4:8 Principle. All very good stuff and I highly recommend them both.
What I realized in the midst of doing this work is that I somehow had confused the concept and was applying the Scripture inappropriately. I had a week where I was really struggling with feeling sad and afraid. I kept trying to “think positive” and to get myself to joy. It was a disaster. I actually felt worse. It was no fault of the author and of course of the Scripture. It just goes to show how things that we learn at a young age can trickle in and make something into something that it is not.
I was trying to take Philippians 4:8 and make it in to our modern idea of “positive thinking”. The idea of positive thinking is that if you just think in a positive nature then everything in your life will work out. The problem comes that if something happens and you have an emotional response that is not positive then what do you do with it? I have found that applying just the modern concept of thinking positively leads to stuffing, minimizing and denial. In addition, what you resist will actually persist. If positive thinking is used as a way to resist feeling then the feelings will grow, not lessen.
Emotions don’t work the same way as our mind does. They do not just switch on and off. Once you have an emotional response it will stay there until it is acknowledged and released. That is why we can carry emotional baggage from years ago. No amount of stuffing, denial or positive thinking will make it go away. Now, I’m not talking about staying in pain and sitting in self loathing. I am talking about the healthy acknowledgement that not everything that happens to us or around us is “happy”. Emotions are not something to be afraid of. They are barometers for our soul. They help us to gauge what is going on inside and can lead us to roots of pain and burden that need to be released.
The other truth to this is that if one disconnects from painful feelings then that person will also be disconnected from joyful feelings. You cannot pick and choose. And being disconnected just takes the color out of life. So the first step is recognizing that focus does not mean denial. Focusing on having better thoughts does not mean minimizing or stuffing. It is a very different process, one that actually takes work and application.
We were meant to be connected and to feel. I will be blogging more about what I’m learning in applying Philippians 4:8. What do you think of when you hear the words “positive thinking”?
