I was at my mastermind meeting yesterday and the subject of self acceptance came up. Wikipedia defines self-acceptance as affirmation or acceptance of self in spite of weaknesses or deficiencies. Such a simple statement for a challenging undertaking. I had prayed for God to speak to me before going to the meeting. My heart has been dull lately and my head has been filled with self condemning thoughts. I wanted to hear something, anything to tell me that I’m still on the right track. That somehow God has not forgotten about me or my dreams that He has not abandoned me.
I don’t know what I expected to hear at the meeting, I just know that self-acceptance was not on my radar. I was expecting some great insight in to something I needed to fix within myself so that I would feel better. Or be more acceptable or perhaps a missing link to what I’ve been searching for. Something that would take my business to the next level or open another door for me to speak. Or give me an indicator of a blind spot. Perhaps something I wasn’t seeing in my marriage. Self acceptance brought tears to my eyes.
I certainly haven’t arrived by any stretch of the imagination. I have hurts and hang ups and I struggle with all kinds of things. Yet, the idea that I would simply accept me without trying to fix me sounds so foreign. That I would be okay with me. I almost don’t know what to do with that. I feel like God was whispering in my ear… you are not the person that you were. You are different now. You are more the essence of who you were meant to be. And you are mine. And I love you.
Self-acceptance has really never been on my radar. I haven’t approached life that way. Yet, isn’t that really the only way to approach life? Healing isn’t about fixing, it’s about loving ourselves enough to want more freedom. It is the essence of self-acceptance. It is engaging in the journey that is us as people. A journey that is ours and ours alone. I believe that is why God is so close to the broken hearted. Because it is when we come to the end of ourselves that God is there. It is when we stop trying to pretend that we have it all together and surrender that God takes over in places only He can touch. It is the beauty of self-acceptance.
I wish I could say that I’ve looked at my journey that way. I have not. Yet, I want to. Being in fix it mode is tiring. And it doesn’t work. There’s always something to fix. There’s always an obstacle to focus on. So when victories come they get buried behind the new obstacles that come forth. The lack of character over there that I hadn’t noticed before is now glaring because now I’m not dealing with that old issue anymore. It can also become too self-focused. I love other people and I don’t have to wait until I’m in a certain place to give more of my heart. It’s a lie. I don’t need to be fixed. I’m not broken. Not in that way anyway.
I love that God spoke to me through the people at my mastermind meeting yesterday. I love that He drives me in to His arms in such a gentle way. I love that He accepts me with all of my weaknesses. That His power is made great in those places. I appreciate laying down that I need to fix anything and stepping in to acceptance. It feels so foreign. Psalm 23 says that He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. Accepting me tears the wall down between me and God. It says that I don’t have to be any different to be refreshed. It brings Him in to the process instead of pushing Him away. I’m excited for this new realization and to engage with God as only He will help me in overcoming my fix it mentality. Have a beautiful and blessed day!
Thank you for reading. I appreciate any comments or thoughts.
