Out of Hiding

It’s hard to believe that it’s been over two years since I’ve blogged. It isn’t because I haven’t been writing. I have been writing, a lot actually. Over the last two years, I have been writing a book. When I started I thought I could complete the book in a few months, six max. Over two years later, the manuscript is nearly completed. It is in the second round of edits.

The journey to be here, back to blogging after finishing this book has been exciting, scary, frustrating and embarrassing all wrapped in one. I don’t think of myself as a writer and therefore, felt ill equipped to take on such a task. As I believe many Christian authors do, I also felt called by God to write what I never thought I could. The book is about me. My life, the abuse I suffered and the healing journey that God has taken me on. It’s about living born again. We hear the term, we know we are supposed to live as new creations once we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, but what does that really mean? My journey from abuse and meth addiction to the salvation given me by God is only one part. The uncomfortable journey to living born again in the freedom promised by Jesus himself is quite another.

Though the only ones who have read my manuscript at this point are me and my editor, I already feel exposed. I mean what will people think of me? Who do I think I am to write a book such as this? What will my family say? What criticism and rejection will I face by the people who read it? The voices in my head at times feel overwhelming. As though Satan himself were pushing the buttons of every insecurity I possess.

And then there is another voice. Softer perhaps, yet, filled with peace. It says, “it’s time to come out of hiding.” This voice steadies me as I prepare for the next part of my walk with My Creator.

Two weeks ago, as I was going through the first round of edits from the editor, I went into the “book” folder on my computer to check an earlier version of the manuscript. I happened to see a file titled “Letter to Me”. I was intrigued. I didn’t remember the file and I certainly didn’t remember writing a letter to myself. As I opened it and read the words, I was stunned. Tears rolled down my face as I read words that I had written to myself over two years prior

Sandi this letter is to you. You have a story to tell my dear. It’s not an every day story it is a story that will impact millions of people. And the story is within you thoroughly backed up by the Holy Spirit. You have to get this out on paper. There is no way around it, you simply have to. This is your life and it’s not going to run away from you. 

I know this flies in the face of everything you’ve ever learned. You believed that you would never be heard and now here you are writing a book that breaks generations of silence. I know it’s scary and I know you have many doubts. I know you feel intimidated. I know the enemy is attacking in every way that he can. Yet, the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. This book represents more than words on paper, it represents you standing up fully and taking your power back. That power deep within your spirit that is dying to get out.  

Know that God will be with you every step of the way. He will comfort you and sustain you. He will guide you and inspire you. He will be your fortress and strength. He has prepared you for this moment and he has cleared the way for you to write. Take those little steps of obedience and God will move mountains. 
I love you.
Sandi