Anxiety can be a very debilitating thing. Anxiety means “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” Believe it or not, the feeling of anxiety does serve a purpose. It is meant to be a short term warning about possible danger. It’s an uncomfortable feeling of fear meant to steer us away from harm.
The problem is that a state of anxiety can be quite harmful. Both to the body and to the mind. I know this first hand. Several years ago I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I would have panic attacks and times when I would feel the need to isolate because I couldn’t cope with my surroundings. Even though those surroundings and people meant me no harm. So why the anxiety?
In my childhood I spent a lot of time in an anxious state. I never knew what my environment (or the people in it) would bring. Perhaps one moment was good and the next could be an explosion. I could get hurt or yelled at or worse. I was terrified of getting in trouble because the outcome was certain to be severe in some way. For me, the verbal attacks were just as harmful as the physical ones. The physical attacks did outward and inward damage, the verbal at the soul level. I learned to fear failure. I learned to fear criticism. I learned to fear because I needed to be prepared for the danger that would certainly come at some point. And that carried over in to adulthood.
As I went through life and experienced more pain everything just piled up. Until finally, I was barely functional. I used drugs just to get the guts to go to work and interact with people. Of course, the drugs had their own contribution to anxiety so it really wasn’t much of a solution. As one very wise therapist puts it “it’s like you think your in Alaska and you have a big winter coat on. Everyone around you is telling you to take off the coat because the truth is it’s warm out. Everyone around you has bathing suits on and you’re like no, I still need this coat!” Anxiety becomes the winter coat to protect against the coming danger. What is supposed to serve as a short term solution has now become a damaging coping mechanism that is constantly pointed toward the scary future. It’s not a fun way to live, believe me, I know first hand.
So what is the solution? I can only speak for myself. However, the healing process has done wonders for my relationship with anxiety. I no longer suffer from an anxiety disorder. As I walked through the roots of my pain and anxiety and got the emotional healing that I so desperately needed, I began to live more in the present and less in the future. People stopped looking so dangerous to me. I can honestly say that I still have triggers and there are still times when I go there. Yet, it is the exception and not the norm. For that, I am very grateful. Now when I feel anxious it is an opportunity to explore that which is unhealed and bring it to God. My prayer is that others suffering from anxiety will experience freedom. My heart breaks for them. Truthfully, if you or anyone you know suffers in this way, please have compassion. It’s no joke. And, I also pray for help for them. There really is another side to anxiety!
