I met Rachel a little over 2 years ago in the park. Our Church was meeting at the park once a week to spend time and I happened to strike up a conversation with a woman who was there. After talking for awhile she shared with me that she had a 16 year old living with her. This teenager (named Rachel) had a problem with drugs (specifically meth) and that she had run away and she was trying to find her. I gave the woman my business card and told her that if she found her that I would love to talk with her. I smoked meth almost every day for 3 1/2 years. I understand how damaging that drug is. I also understand that it’s possible to let it go, heal from the pain driving the user to it, and live a life that is vibrant and fulfilling. I really didn’t expect to hear from that woman again.

Yet, nearly 2 weeks later she called and left me a message. She had found Rachel and wanted me to meet her. So I went to the park and spent time with Rachel. She was nervous, yet as we talked she came out of her shell and shared more with me. She was introduced to drugs at the age of 10. She had been in and out of rehabs, yet would run away and return to her old life. We talked for a long time and we bonded that day. Through her insecurity, I saw a beautiful girl with a vibrant spirit.

Rachel came to Church with us several times. She came to the park and she spent time at our home. She would bring her guitar and sing. Her voice was absolutely incredible. One day she called me very excited. She had written a song about Jesus and she wanted us to hear it. We went to her house and she sang it for us. It brought me to tears. She had notebooks full of songs that she had written.

Rachel was also on and off drugs during the two years that followed our meeting. I prayed for her so many times. Several times, when she was in juvenile hall, she wrote me letters asking all kinds of questions about God. I knew she was seeking.

The thing about Rachel was that to meet her was to really love her. She lit up a room and she had no idea how amazing she was. Every time I saw her she would yell my name excitedly, run up to me, and wrap her arms around me. She’d comment on my hair or notice something about me. She really loved to be around people and she loved to connect. There was something about her that seemed hopeful in spite of her sadness and wells of pain. It was that spark that kept bringing her back to Church. Then she lost her boyfriend. He was killed in a car on his way to see her. It seemed that one more brick of pain was too much for her.

I saw her a few times after that. I could tell that she had lost some of her spark. It was painful. I so wanted to just reach in and connect with her heart to let her know how loved she was. She really had no idea how lovable she was. Then on Thursday, September 18 she overdosed. It was most likely on drugs and prescription drugs. I went to the hospital on Friday. I held her hand and prayed over her. She died on Sunday, September 21. I am heartbroken. She was such a beautiful soul.

Losing Rachel has sparked something in me where I realize that there is just so much more to life than worrying about what everyone thinks. It also has helped me to realize that half of what I focus on is not even worth the time it takes to focus on it. There is a bigger picture in this life and a larger purpose. We were created for so much more than worrying about schedules and looks and magazines and television. We were created by the Almighty God, who made us in His image. The spirit that each one of us possesses will fill an entire room. I don’t want to waste these precious moments on distractions and comforts. I don’t want to live to be comfortable I want to live to be purposeful. Rachel was more than worth every moment I spent with her. She inspired me to love deeper. I love you Rachel.